Click

went out this past saturday night to a trance show at my favorite venue. it was super freeing, uplifting and restorative in a way. to shuffle around and dance around without a care is such a delightful thing to do. having that magical and energetic connection between the people behind the dj booth and the crowd is truly a unique experience. i long for the nights where i can feel like my heart is soaring and i feel the music within me.

since last fall when my perspectives on life drastically shifted in a positive way, things have felt pretty constant in life. i guess up until the last months, my emotional state felt very shaky as a result of unnecessary anxieties and general life challenges. the root of most of my worries originates from feelings i have about work and how i’m able to handle the environment. at times it’s hard to withstand the intensity of the workplace so i tend to numb out really easily as a result of external and internal stress. lately, i’ve been able to get a better handle by lassoing in my automatic cognitions. 

along with that, my emotions are quite tumultuous as a result of helping others surprisingly. as an empathic and extremely sensitive person, it’s difficult to refrain from giving my full support and heart to those in pain.. especially when they face the same emotional difficulties i have fought many times before. at a point last week, i really felt like i was taking on the worries and problems of others. it was rather confusing to tease out which thoughts were actually mine as i became imbued with negative energy. it’s always to easy for me to put others before myself without realizing, but i must strap that oxygen mask on myself before helping others as they say.

last weekend was a great time for me to reflect on these complications and i was only able to realize this when i was already drowning in negativity. with the help of resources and skills i’ve gained over time, i was able to get back up on my feet again. things i’ve learned from this experience:

• self care is incredibly important and ideally should balance out how much time i’m committing to work and productivity. remembering that i do love myself and that it’s healthy to practice self compassion.
  
  
• alone time is great! i love having my independence and i see introversion as a huge strength. remembering that my lifestyle is not really about external expectations, but something that should work for me. solitude is also great for protecting myself from absorbing too much energy.
  
  
• my intense passion for healing, holistic and therapeutic practices. from sharing my life with my nuturing therapist, getting an abhyangha oil massage every other week, working with my yogic meditation instructor, meditating on my own, eating nourishing foods, the list goes on… it all contributes to detoxification and ultimate bliss !
  
  
• maintenance of all the practices and habits that got me out of a dark place.
  
  
• recognizing how far i’ve come. i’ve changed so much as a person, especially my thought processes and how i feel about myself and perceive the world.